Hey I'm new here and I'm kind of looking for advice on something.

Guess I'll explain a little, I have been working on healing from sexual abuse for about a year now, and I feel leagues better than I did before, I re-learned to feel and I now feel more capable of handling intense emotions, being more intimate in my relationships, and changing my faulty thought patterns. Group Therapy, CBT/RBT, Counseling, Self-Care, Mindfulness, and a does of Nihilist/Idealist philosophies have been my big helpers so far.

But anyways I met someone recently who I do feel for and we were intimate sexually at one point and I noticed I did not feel comfortable. I did not expect this, but I wasn't sure how to stop it, I would've liked too though. So it got me thinking that I may not be fully comfortable with being sexual yet. I've also realized I've acted out sexually before and had one night stands and seem to have no problems with being sexual than. But now that I'm with someone who I feel safe investing in, it's very different, my sex drive is really low and the thought of having sex doesn't seem too appealing, whereas before I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm really confused, and I am going to discuss boundaries with him, and that sometimes I may not feel comfortably with being touched and I'm sure he'll understand. It's also frustrating because the fact that I was sexually abused IS affecting my relationship so I'm feeling a lot of anger towards the abusers and the whole idea. This is getting in my way!

So the thing is, I really hope it does happen eventually, I guess I just need a little re-assurance. It is possible to reclaim a healthy sexuality right? I get nervous thoughts like "What if I never feel sexual attraction towards him? What if the feeling just never comes?" I'm guessing it'll take time, and this is all still really new to me. But I'm asking myself "How long is this going to take?"



Edited by xJustex (01/22/09 12:54 PM)