After a year of total confusion and non stop stressing about my sexuality, i decided to write everything down in the hope of some clarity or closure. Decided to paste it on here on the off chance it might be useful to someone else. Also, if anyone disagrees with anything i've written or has alternate opinions, feel free to express.....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HOMOSEXUAL = a man who exhibits a sexual response when faced with erotic same-sex stimuli. This is hardwired and cannot be changed. 4/5 of men with homosexual responses still identify as straight

GAY = an identity based upon wanting to love and be loved by other men. A generally lifelong desire for sexual and
romantic relationships with the same sex. An acceptance that you cannot be fulfilled emotionally or sexually by
living as a heterosexual


I AM BI (SEXUAL PREFERENCE FOR MEN AND ROMANTIC PREFERENCE FOR WOMEN)
I DON'T DESIRE WOMEN SEXUALLY UNLESS I'M IN A SEXUAL SITUATION WITH A SPECIFIC WOMAN
(in bed kissing a woman, i'm probably going to want sex with her, but i don't in general)
I WOULDN'T DESIRE MEN ROMANTICALLY UNLESS I WAS IN A ROMANTIC SITUATION WITH A SPECIFIC MAN
(agree to go on a date with a gay man, more likely to get romantic thoughts, but i don't in general)
I AM MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA OF LIVING HETEROSEXUALLY


SEXUALLY (generally prefer men)
-------------------------------
- I respond to men in general (fantasies, porn, erotic images)
- More aroused by the idea of having sex with men, simply because they are men (not because i prefer the acts or whatever)
- I do not respond to women in general (don't get aroused by female porn or images of naked women, nor by the idea of
having sex with a woman) but I can respond to a woman through intimacy i.e. in intimate situations (kissing and cuddling
etc) i desire the woman sexually and enjoy the act(s)

EMOTIONALLY (generally prefer women)
-----------------------------------
- I emotionally and romantically desire women in general
- Have always crushed on women and am much more comfortable with the idea of being with women
- I do not desire men emotionally in general, but i feel i could develop feelings for a man in the same way that i develop
sexual feelings for a specific woman despite GENERALLY preferring men

AESTHETICALLY (pretty similar)
-----------------------------
- I find both men and women attractive although in a public place or whatever i'd be more likely to feel attracted to women
- Attracted to femininity more than anything, very unlikely to find a really hairy, manly guy attractive

LIFESTYLE CHOICE (favour heterosexually)
---------------------------------------
- I do not see myself as gay and feel much more 'at home' and comfortable with the 'heterosexual community'

RANDOM EXAMPLE
-----------------
If i went to a nightclub, i would spend the night eyeing up women, trying to flirt with women, hoping to kiss women and get their phone numbers. However, if i was going to have a 1 night stand, i'd prefer it with a man. I am not interested in women for one night, but i'm not interested in men for more than one night



Edited by nonchalant (01/15/09 01:13 AM)