I want to post something positive. I was diagnosed as HIV+ over a year ago now and my CD4 count was already in decline. I have never been able to face the truth that i am HIV+.

I remember when the HIV/AIDS "epidemic" first hit the news headlines -it was scary but at the same interesting. The myths surrounding the virus and the stigma that still persists today.

I am still in denile that i am HIV+ and as a result of this i made the decision to stop taking the drugs. I know that to some this may seem like suicide but then again we do not know for sure what the future holds.

I remember on my visits to the clinic there were people who are classified as Long term progressors and just go for the usual blood tests and do not require the drugs.

The doctor told me that i am not one of these people and that without the drugs i will get sick fast, well todate i am not ill. I keep my self physically fit, i ride 24miles a day apart from the weekends. I firmly believe that the cycling keeps the virus under control and gives me a positive feeling.

duncan

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you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.