This "movie" is no fantasy and is far from fact based fiction. I live it everyday and I envy those who do not have a world like mine. The few who can come up with theoretical conclusions and not even entertain the desparation of someone like me creates such a void. My thought process is always that some kid right now could be getting hurt exactly like I was at their age. It is repeatedly happening to me now and I still can't handle it. Isn't one thing worse enough? I'm speaking of what my perps do and I don't see much difference in what was done to any of you.

The question was why do perps do what they do. There are plenty of reasons that can be attatched but the end result is that they either do it on their own accord or can't stop themselves. They all need both help and supervision indefinately. Still in any explaination it's their choice, their evil, and their irresponsibility.

Do perps actively play a role in helping me? Where does this thing of prevention come from in that if we just educate them, show some compassion for their "struggle", and teach them enough that they will become safe? Please tell me how you get to that with something other than hope. There is no possible way to even prove it without putting a kid in harms way. How do we end up having to try to convince them that it could be any more intolarable than it blatantly is on its own? How can any adult man or woman get off with them saying "well I just didn't understand that it was that wrong"? The worst of my perps do and did everything to make me nothing but their object to torture for there gratification. Separate from them, my first perp got me to love him and my last perp demonized me to get what he wanted when all I did was run to him for help. Where do I fit if I am expendable? When will how I suffer and how others suffer really matter? I'm not collateral damage! Please don't make that my life! Please!!!!!

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Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number