I would just like to suggest that we be careful when discussing sexual abuse in the context of christian families and communities. To use christian terms, sin is not absent from the lives of christians and it must be recognised for what it is. But equally we must be aware that christian families and communities (and those of other faiths) can be and are exploited by both cynical and self-deluded people. I would prefer to see the issues kept separate. For many years after my abuse finished I held onto my christian faith and when I gave it up I do not think that it was related to the abuse.

Whatever happens to you in the future you will find it easier with good friends who trust you and whom you trust. For most people it is easiest to make these friends when you are young but this is because there is time to develop the friendships before 'big issues' arise which need to be talked through. I guess that there can be no rules because just as every person is different so every relationship is different. Some thrive on early and complete trust and disclosure and others need years of trivial discussions and time spent doing nothing much in order to lay a solid foundation. To paraphrase shakespear (and this really should be put in the next edition of the bible!) - be true to yourself.