The therapist I am seeing now suggested that I find me a piano to play since it has been several years since I last played one. It was one of the things that got me through the abuse and has helped me to relax, communicate my thoughts and feelings and emotions when I couldn't speak the words.
So tonight I found the little practice rooms at the university which is only 10 blocks away (why I didn't think of this sooner, I will never figure out!). I didn't play it very long because my fingers are sooooo out of shape... but it felt good and it felt strange. It will take a little to build my strength and control up in my fingers but right now, I need it more than I have ever needed it in my life. It did help me to relax a little... more than a few beers would have done for me!.