HI Arron,
I am glad you brought this up. I have discvered that I held the same feelings with my partners and with my wife. I talked to my T and found that all I needed to do was to resexualize myself. In order to do that I had to approach sex differently than I had been doing. I fell into the old habit pattern with my wife of only haveing sex after I had been in bed amd in the dark for a while. Exactly the way my dad got to me. We worked out a different scenerio and it is great. I no longer feel dirty or sameful. It was just a matter of associating the sex with a different set of circumstances. Talking about it with her. And talking about it after. These are things I never did with my dad and in my brain it caused it to fall into a different experience with different feelings altogether.
When we are sexualized at a young age it forms a pattern in the pleasure center of our brain. A trigger and response synapse that says this experience and feeling goes with this memory. I have learned you cannot erase that but you can establish new connections and when reinforced they will dominate and supercede the old tracks with the new ones when triggered. It was work but I found it pleasant work.
Our young impressionable minds were imprinted. Can't help that but you can short circuit with practice and re imprint new impresiona that are more to your liking. I know it sounds weird but it really works. Apparently very little is written in stone if you want to do the work. This is all basic brain biochemistry and has been documented by Dr. Alan Meyer.