Being abused by a man of the cloth is the ultimate betrayal, and perhaps most damaging because it damages your relationship with God considering the priest is a mediator between God and man, or at least is supposed to be.
It is not a matter of GOd allowing it to happen, he gave man free will, and that is something he does not hinder or intervene against, if he did we would be little more than pupets with God pulling the strings. I know it feels like you were betrayed by God and for the lonest time I, and I'm sure most of the men here, have felt abandoned by God at one point, even betrayed by Him, but I realized not too long ago, that to him, and to our human condition, free will is vital, and sacred. God didn't allow it, and he did not abandon anyone or betray anyone, he was right next to you, holding you close and crying just as much as you.
Faith and spirituality is personal and no one has the right to tell anyone else what they are when it comes to religion, that is something only you can discern and figure out. You don't have to condone the church in order to be religious.
You are a christian, you are loved by God, and He felt your every pain just as real as you. But don't be too tough on your wife, like I said, it is hard, if not impossible, for a non-survivor to really understand a survivor no matter how hard they may try. Just remain sure in your spirituality regardless of how strong it is, God apreciates every level, and loves everyone at every level.
Peace toyou all and God bless,
THe spirit is a fragile thing, easy to break, but not impossible to fix.