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My wife who is a christian and very committed to her faith, said that because I am questioning god and trying to understand what has happened, tells me that I am a non believer and don't have christian values.

God is big enough to allow us to question his role in our lives back then as well as now. In fact I believe he'd rather have us ask questions and struggle with the concept of him than to just follow along blindly never questioning anything. He wants intelligent subjects in his kingdom not robots.

I too went through the whole questioning thing some time back and came out the other side with my faith stronger than ever, and in the mean time learned some very important and personal things about God and my relationship to him.

Lots of love,

John

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“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson