Hello- I have read here and there, but I hesitate to post b/c I don't want to say something insensitive or ignorant.

My H recently shared w/ me that something happened in his youth w/ a teen neighbor. His purpose was to show that if he could move past that, I could move past the affairs he had (one in '99 with a friend of mine and one fall of '06 w/ a co-worker).

He was a/b 6yo when it happened and sought help at a/b 12yo in the form of a year of counseling w/ a county therapist.

He refuses to talk a/b anything to do w/ this. I know from the infidelity support forum I read that often survivors have issues that can lead to affairs. H denies this had anything to do w/ the affairs.

I was wondering, what are some behaviors that are typical? Issues that can grow? I know I can't force him into help, but I need an idea of what it's like, what happens in order for me to cope.

H refuses to talk a/b it and doesn't want me sharing or buying books to read a/b it. He says it's a done issue. But I need to know what I'm dealing with and what comes from his other issues (absent alcoholic father and general fucked up FOO). I have so many issues of my own, I feel like I am floundering and I just need some clarity. Somewhere to start.

Thank you for the kindness of replying to my post.

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jem