I don't respond to other people's post. I have read a lot of other member's posts and I want to reply, but I don't. I don't know what to say really. I don't want to jeporadize somebody's recovery by saying something stupid that won't help. When I read them, I go from feeling good about one post to feeling horrible about another.

I want to say that I'm just using some of the posts for my own advantage. Sometimes when I read something, it makes me feel better. I wish I could respond, and say to the poster, thank you, but I'm just not sure. I've already said a whole bunch of things on here than I regret saying about myself. I mean, I like to be open and I sure hope people can be understanding, but I don't want to leave myself hanging out there to be hurt. I wish I could just tell people, "Hey, I know what you're going through and it's really bad what happend and etc." I just can't and I'm sorry.

I was talking to someone tonight about the piano. I've been playing for about five years, but seriously for about two years. I have never had a lesson, and I'm actually very very good. It's one of the few things I'm good at, maybe the only thing. Sometimes, when I play a song, I think about my own story, or someone else's story, and as I sing the words, I think there's meaning and comfort in those words. I don't control my fingers. They just keep playing. I can't control my thoughts, they just keep popping in my head. So many things trigger me, so many thoughts and I just can't handle them all much. But I do know this.... music takes me to another place. Sometimes its bad, and sometimes its good, but I can always admit, it's never meaningless. Maybe you should try music!