Were do i start ?.

First im sorry if im moaning again, i know i sound like a broken record. But i dont know what to do anymore.

Today i looked at myself. Im so ashamed that im scared. Scared of the future and scared of life. This might not sound much to some, but to me its fucked up.
My stepdad and others taught me that any feeling was a weakness. I could never be scared and if i showed any feeling it was beaten out of me.
Then when i was in the army, it just carried on. I never felt anything not one thing. Now its all going wrong and i dont know what to do.
I feel so small and scared. It feels so overwhelming, its like a second skin. Ive never had emotions like this before and i dont know how to handle it. Im jumping at everything and then i get angry for being scared, then i get paranoid. Even just being at this site is making me paranoid. This site has helped me in so many ways, but panic about what will people here think of me, and am i just annoying people.
Im finding it hard to think straight with all this pressure in my head.
Sorry sorry.



Edited by SEVEN ARROWS (12/06/07 04:08 PM)