I sit here watching people go about there lives, looking out the window at all the people going past. I see couples smiling and holding hands, children walking with parents. The children jumping and running around, with caring parents making sure they dont run into the road.
A mother goes by and her baby drops a toy out of the pram, the mother stops and picks up the toy. Brushing dirt from the toy and giving it back to the baby with smiling face and soothing words.
A dad and his son come out of the shop and the father opens a bag of sweets and hands it to a happy son. All these people caring and looking out for the children.
I look at the kids in nice clean clothes and see their happy faces, no shadow of pain or hurt on their tiny faces. Looking at mum and dad with trusting and open faces. Eyes bright at the world.
I read the local paper about a father and his son, the son got swept into the sea and without a thought for his own safety, the father dives in to save his son. Another father who was at the beach with his kids follows the father into the sea. The child is saved but the father is swept out to sea, and drowns. Both these dads did not think about anything except saving the small boy.
Here i sit watching the world go past my window and i dont feel love or remember my dad with happy thoughts. All i feel is a black void, a void of intense hate. It feels like i will burst into flames with hate.
No loving father for me, no father to give me sweets or rescue me.
The pain and suffering echoes from the past, consuming me with empty hate and anger.
So i will just sit here and watch the world go past my window.