I would like to hear from any of you wives/GF's whose men have acted out or been unfaithful to you due to their CSA. I am really having a hard time dealing with this issue. How do you EVER get past this or do you? In my mind, my BF still was unfaithful to me and the fact that he invited a man into our home while I was on a business trip is a traumatic experience that I will probably NEVER EVER get over myself. Does this give me the right to act out and make this an excuse to do whatever the hell I want to do? I know that we live in a world full of sin and corruption, but I keep thinking what if ALL of us did whatever whenever we got the urge to do because of something we experiencd in our youth how much worse it would be. I pray that God gives me the strength to get through all of this without inflicting undue pain onto others because of my own inability to cope.
Another topic that I would like to hear about is if your husbands/BF's have confronted their perpetrators and/or told their families and/or children? I have been dealing with this nightmare by myself for about 6 months now but my BF can not tell his children as he doesn't want to hurt them. His perpetrator was their uncle and he doesn't want to ruin their relationship with him. Likewise he doesn't want to confront his brother who did this to him because he is afraid what this will do to his family (other siblings). In the meantime I am sitting here thinking to myself what the hell makes these people so damn special? What about the pain that I have been suffering on a day to day, hour by hour moment. Is this part of the old adage that blood is thicker than water?
Here I thought I was in a relationship that was the best that he and I had ever had. And I am trying to be understanding knowing that he has to do all of the above in his time and his way. But never the less, I am human and I am building up resentments that these people get to go on living their lives each day and his siblings have no idea what was going on in their own home during their youth, leaving me to deal with what has gone on in our home on my own. I had absolutely nothing to do with this situation and yet it seems that I am now a victim of his brother as well! It is disgusting to me that these perpetrators are allowed to have so much power over people's lives even some 50 years later!
I welcome any input that anyone can offer.