I have noticed that since I have opened up about about my abuse I no longer have a compulsive desire to masturbate like I did for so many years. I have not stopped but its not a blind drive to the porn site. I too had a Christian guilt factor working on me but the last time I masturbated was pure bliss, no porn no guilt no fantasy just me enjoying the feeling. This was the first time I experienced feeling good about giving pleasure to myself. It used to be always followed by guilt and shame. Now that I am no longer carrying around all my secrets of CSA the guilt and shame are are becoming less and less.
FYI: I have not gone blind..lol

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I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
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