Thankyou all for the words.
Im hoping that this time i will get the help i need and be able to say this is my problem and start to deal with it. I say this time because i once let my problems get so big i could see no way out. I spent a whole weekend drinking and using drugs. I just wanted to make it all go away. The next-ed door neighbours got worried about me and it ended with the police breaking into my flat and i was rushed to hospital because i had took an overdose and slashed myself with a razor blade. The only thing i remember is waking up in the emergency medical unit and being on a drip, with a psychiatrist sitting at the end of my bed. He spoke to me, but i did not want to speak to him, so once i was fit to be moved i was transferred to the mental ward of the hospital. I tried to leave and was sectioned. I was put on meds and three weeks later i was allowed to leave. I got no help whilst i was on the ward and was just dumped back into society. I say all this because im hoping this time they can find out what is wrong with me instead of being told its, PTSD then Bipolar then psychotic episodes then depression then the list goes on. I later ended up in a prison hospital were i was held for nine and a half months, loads of meds and i was released into the care of an outpatients doctor. I had to see him every week and he would check my meds and send me to see a counsellor, but as time went on he became inundated with more patients and just kept me on repeat pre>