I have no idea how much control my rage can have over me at times almost to the point i want to fuckin hurt people.I don't want to hear about "it's a choice" i make when i am angry i vehemenantly disagree.

I am so sick of people who are incompetent who act as though it's your fault when they can't do their job(s) yet they further act like i have no right to question them.

This morning i got so angry i wanted to climb through the phone,not to mention i threw my coffee across the parking lot because i couldn't breath and catch my breath and be patient.


The short fuse i have is getting shorter and shorter the longer i'm sober,although i dont think or want a drink.

This emotion is draining me,i have no control and i sweat profusely when i reach such levels of rage.

Is it normal

Is it something i can maintain as i move torward the anger around the abuse

Am i just someone who must accept the fact i get angry


Do you think it's possible it's more then simply "anger/rage as a redult of not getting my way


How do i breath deep enough to control the very thing i want to do....scream

It's so drianing it's almoost like i "blackout" and lose all factors of time to settle(if you will)


I'm very aware of how unhealthy it is to get so angry i have body re-actions

PTSD and it's symptoms...ie anger,rage,irritability and lack of control over my emotions


I go from being ok right to anger and i'm now feeling it...

Chest pain,loss of breath,shaking,confrontational,...etc etc....i can't deal with this pressure cooker inside of me much longer and i hope i don't resort to putting my hands on someone because i'm really afraid of what i'm capable of,although i never know what i might do next.....any help or suggestions would be nice..


Coop

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" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "