I have a personal question I would like to ask.
My husband is a survivor and we have of course an odd sex life, at least I think so...."my husband is the only one I have ever been with, so I know no different"....For the first 3 years of our marriage I felt used...this is before everything came out about his addiction to porn and strip clubs. I have known about his abuse our whole relationship, so I knew it had to do with the abuse. However now things are different. He is still in the vital stages of recovery. Things are much better, but my question is.....When we are in the middle...he wants me to touch around his anal region...I do not do this!!!! I feel umcomfortable not knowing if I am making the wrong choice... Am I not pleasing him by saying no? or is it right that I don't want to explore anything out of normal,,,because I think about his abuse....At least that is what cross's my mind at that time.
He want's to do other things to, I give in a little to it...even though I am uncomfortable. I just don't want to be the wife who is boring, or that does not fulfill his urges, needs, wants. He is very considerate of my needs, and lovemaking is better then ever. However is my thinking right or wrong with how I feel..should I not be connecting it with his abuse. Does anyone have the same issue at all. Like I said I have no idea...he is the only man I ever kissed, and the only one to ever lay a hand on me. I don't know what a normal healthy sex life is! I do want to do things to please him, but with his past porn addiction and strip club addiction, I feel uncomfortable as well. I get flash backs sometimes when I try and it ruins the whole mood. Ahhh it's hard to explain, I guess maybe I should talk to my theripist.
"Just Breath" Your here and that makes all the difference!.....(wife of a surviver, trying to survive as well!) Here to get some answers and support...Here to do what I can to be a hearing ear.....Thankyou to all of you, ahead of time!