Hi all, I just started opening up about my abuse. It has taken 3 years of therapy and I just found out that my therapist is adept in this area. She told me how abusers work and that it was not my fault. What an amazing thing and such a weight has been lifted from me. I have spent years hiding my abuses because of shame,guilt, and fear. I abused drugs and alcohol for about 13 years because I hated myself for being abused.I have had 4 attempted suicides and two hospitalizations. I lived with my abuser for a year where I was brain washed, gas lighted, and used. I turned away from family and friends to move in with this so called friend and then the nightmare began. It was only a miracle I escaped. I was 10 years before I could partially function in the real world. Nobody would listen to me in my family I was so broken. They guy was a pedo & a satanist. There were rituals that I still bare on my chest a 4 inch scar from a razor cut that he drank the blood from. I was witness to incest, child abuse, and of course my own abuse. My only regret not is that I had not been ready to tell my therapist sooner about the abuse. But I am so relieved now to know I was not my fault and I was not a willing party to this horrific experience. I hope this post does not offend anyone it is not my intent. There is just so much abuse that went on in that year and in earlier years its hard to get out what I need to without including the parts the than sexual. I am still working on these issues and need friends that understand which I have only a couple at this time.
Thanks for being here.
Rick

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I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
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