But wait a minute, since I am not a Christian maybe I should refrain, but thoughts are just thoughts, and fantasies too. I love my girlfriend so, so much, but when I think about someone else when M, its just a fantasy. I don't really want to act on it.

I find this whole discussion so unsettling. Let's say you do think about your neighbor's wife. So? Trying not to think or fantasize about almost anything gives that thing or fantasy so much power over you. Aren't *actions* what really matter?

Sorry if I am getting in the way here. Just my two cents.....