TRIGGERS>!

I still have trouble believing myself. you know? I don't know sometimes, if I was forced into sex.. I don't know if I was violated, I mean. I know that I was put into illegal shock treatments. I was hurt, but, I just don't know sometimes... I am in shock. I've been in shock for three years... You'd think that since I was forced only a few times I would think of myself more than just a sexual slurr. I am hurt. Somehow, I don't know how.

I am not an empty person but, I can't seem to feel anything sometimes, am I still bleeding from all of the wounds? They still feel fresh. I have had a normal life for over 10 years. Yes... a normal life for 10 years, but at 19/20, I've been in a mental coma.