When i was little after the abuse had happened it had obviously effected me i dont doubt that. But for the most part growing up i never had nightmares i was a good for the most part i was a normal kid.
as a child i was never really scared to do things, people could touch me and i was fine with it, i had good normal relationships with people, i didnt flinch all the time, i wasnt constantly looking over my shoulder, and i was in control of my emotions i wasnt angry one second and sad the other i was just normal.
Things have never been perfect at my house their have always been problems. but when i was little the things didnt bother me.
none of this stuff started bothering my untill i was 12 or 13 and even then i wasnt a complete reck but then about a year ago around the time i turned 17 (im 18 now) i started feeling really depressed i started not sleeping all the things above that i mentioned didnt bother me as a child all started bothering me almost at once.
I guess my question is why Now? or Why ever? i never lived in denial about what happened i was just ok with it. what inside of me or around me changed so that all of a sudden i am afraid of everything?