Well, my therapist gave a name to my "nerves of noodles" last Wednesday. It was kind of shocking when I told her about the way people sneak up behind me at work, sometimes unintentionally, and scare the living crap out of me. I didn't expect her to respond the way that she did when I shared with her how I tried to hurt a co-worker who put his hand on my shoulder from behind when I didn't know he was there.

She called it post-traumatic stress syndrome, and she said I need to take some actions to protect myself and others from it.

Wow. PTSD? Me?

Yeah, I guess she's got a point. Most people giggle in an embarassed way after they are startled. Me? I lash out. Somtimes it's physically, mostly it's verbally. Most inportantly, though, I tend to get these little blips of emotional flashbacks. I feel betrayal, anger, and shame as a result of being startled. It takes some time for me to recover and to get back to work when it happens, and now I'm being told I have to do something about it.

The guy I need to speak with is a supervisor. He's one of those touchy-feely kind of guys, and I trust him. He's one of two guys I know who I let touch me in any way besides the customary cordial handshake (the other is my dad). However, he knows nothing of my abuse. I need to let him know somehow that it's not okay to startle me.

Anyone have any thoughts?

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.