Getting a cold so I took a nap this afternoon. Had a dream that my husband's perp (a relative) called to confront why we had told husband's parents about him. He was mad at me! I almost wish that he would call me now. I have mixed feelings about him.

I am so angry at him for putting my spouse through all of this.

YES, he may have been abused by someone else, but that doesn't excuse it. I do want to confront him. I want his wife to know. I want her to know because they have young children. I want him to be embarassed.

YET, I also want to tell him that I hope he is able to get help. I want to tell him that I'm sorry it happened to him and that he had no one he could tell. I want to tell him the fact that he was abused wasn't his fault. I want to believe that he won't abuse his children (I don't think he would) I want to forgive him ---

BUT I want to hold on to my anger for him. I need somebody to blame for what we're going through.

I know I'm digesting a lot cause I'm reading Victims No Longer, but I'm completely awash with all kinds of conflicting emotions. If he did call, would I actually have the guts to say I know what you did?

V.

So much for my fuck therapy weekend. <sigh>




Edited by violet (09/28/07 02:26 PM)
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I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros