Ok, so my bf has come back home.
We've talked and established a problem in communication reguarding his sexuality.

I am not going to go into great detail, but am now of the opinion that he cannot move forward, and therefore we cannot move forward until he faces/processes all the emotions connected to both CSA and also family stuff. I wonder if he actually needed there to be some space here with us, in order for him to get on with that? He agrees that he's not faced most of it yet.....


I also feel irritated that his T has passed negative comment about me coming here to malesurvivor. It seems he's suggested that my ONLY hope is that his desire for men will go away and that by coming here, I am seeking the reassurance of such a hope..........Firstly why would he even be dwelling on a possible negative of my coming here, when it is one of the few sources of support available?? Secondly, if i have been wishing my bf's desires towards men disappear, I hardly think that's some kind of unreasonable wish!!! However, I am not a naive person, nor am I without my own quirks of sexuality and as such, I do not expect his desires to be erased. Only that his perspective and understanding of them might change, along with the dysfunctional behaviours which sabotage his and OUR chances of happiness together. Of course, if his desire is deeper than the physical resonse he's been left with and comes from a place of genuine attraction, my hopes of all of that are void and useless......

.......but he is telling me he's not attracted to men, so I feel angry with his T.


The other thing I feel angry about, is that it seems his T has also been suggesting that another negative about my coming to this site, is the focus on abuse. He called it viewing our relationship through the prism of abuse.......stating that it suggests avoidance of other(more valid???)issues, such as differences to do with upbringing etc etc...........


I don't know what anyone else here thinks about this, but I'd love to here any opinions.....


Am now feeling like his T is making me out to be some kind of enemy, instead of a woman who's had the ground ripped out from under her feet this past few years.......



peace
Beccy