She's a HUGE trigger for me....

Had to pick her and her BF up from college yesterday...
2.5 hour drive one way w/ her and her BF talking about
all their NEW exploits...

What a fucking miserable fucking nightmare...I was not
ready to be around her yet again...I've only been seeing my
shrink for a little while and just started in my recovery
group...I'm not prepared to deal w/ the shit that she
is "confessing" to during conversations about her "sexploits"...
she doesn't even realize what she is talking about...she just
lets stuff out w/o thinking about the content...

She thinks shes an adult...well I got news for her, she ain't...
She can't even recognize all the shit shes building up is
sick, evil and twisted...and she will PAY for all this shit
sooner or later...these will HAUNT her...they will cause her
great emotional pain...

I was a miserable wreck by the time we arrived home...and she
was excited like nothing was even wrong w/ what she was
discussing during the trip home...

I couldn't shut her down, I didn't WANT to stiffel her
conversation...I just let her talk asking general questions
about her health, stuff about classes...
games she has attended...asked if she was involved
in any HEALTHY extra-curricular activities...but it seems
that everything shes involved in revolves around getting
more "hook-ups"...and partying...

(shes been like this since she was about twelve,
we couldn't get her to actively participate in
counseling then either, she refuses to believe that shes
UNHEALTHY)

I'm a wreck right now and still have 2 days left until she
heads back down to college...I'm glad the GF is taking her back
cause I cannot go thru that again until I've had some more
time to get my mind right....

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."