From an article by Merle James Yost on Sexual Addiction and CSA. This was sent to me by a therapist who tells me mine is all about a contra phobia or a repetition compulsion. This may help you understand how you feel compelled to act out and why.
In my experience, many men that have been labeled as sexual addicts are in reality experiencing a repetition compulsion. The circumstances of the initial abuse so stimulated them that their young bodies and minds were unable to process or contain the overwhelming sensations. Consequently, they froze inside and they associated sex and sexual feelings with these overwhelming sensations and often feel a power imbalance is part of sex, so they attempt to recreate the situation in an effort to complete the gestalt. They are trying to complete this unfinished experience. The child part of him is trying to find a way out of the loop he is in and to the outside world this often looks like sexual addiction. The acting out behavior could start as a repetition compulsion and turn into an addiction as well.
When a boy has been sexually assaulted, his life changes forever. There can be small to extreme changes in behaviors, moods, and attitudes about people, himself and the world. These feelings do not go away and the impact is not minor regardless of how the boy appears to be taking it. Children do what they need to do to survive. They may feel that their survival depends upon hiding this experience at all costs. Treatment is the only answer to really recovering. Left untreated, the wounds follow the man into adulthood and impact their relationships with everyone. Admitting the pain is terrible, but the victim stands to gain a life without the pain of the abuse. Men can and do heal from childhood sexual abuse.
Edited by kellygtx (09/04/07 09:14 AM)
I bid you Peace.
The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.