Thanks jakemed. It is nice to know others in the same boat I have been in. I'm keeping my fantizes from becoming actions. My wife has been part of this journey for me as well. It's just not something I can share in great detail with my wife. I long for the honest man to man disclosure to feel free to have this type of dialogue and not hide behind those thoughts. I accept they are part of me and am in good place now in with my wife. My wife says she accepts, but I always have self doubt. And it isn't something you talk about at the monthly card game with the guys. Or least I have not found a friend yet they I would feel comfortable disclosing and having the friendship fall apart.