Backspin,

Mothers are incredible sometimes. Yours seems to have her heart in a typically motherly place: aiming to restore the stability of the family - "we are all family and that's what's important". Too bad she didn't think of that years ago.

She probably doesn't understand how devalidating her comments are; to be told get over it and it was a long time ago in the same call is a pretty heavy hit.

You might want to consider Dave's alternative: if she's determined not to help you and acknowledge the harm that was done to you, then fine, cut of ties with her. Your recovery IS this important.

But if it's just a matter of ignorance, perhaps she needs to read something like Mike Lew's book to get an idea what you're going through.

Either way, there's no way in hell she should expect you to do what she has in mind. As I said, her attitude is pretty typical of mothers trying to mend the damage that abuse does to a family without any real knowledge of the harm it has done to the victim.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)