I really enjoyed reading your posts, and I must admit was rather surprised to hear hat you were not a Christian, since so much of your personal theology is in line with the basic teachings of Christianity (though, sadly, not of many of the sects thereof). Please don't think I'm trying to preach, testify, or convert, as I am myself not curretnly at home with any church.
I also believe that there is a lot of truth in what you say. The power of forgiveness can be transformational, however I would like to add that I do not think that we are necessarily doomed to a life of suffering if we find ourselves unable to forgive. For many, forgiving ourselves and moving forward in our recovery can only happen by shifting the guilt onto the backs of those who abused us. There are some people whose entire recovery journey is possible only because they have done this. Now we can certainly discuss whether or not this would be the way we would choose to go, but I won't ever tell anyone that their path is incorrect. If it brings them out of the shadows and givens them enough momentum to start moving forward in their lives, then they are succeeding in a task at which far far too many fail.
Let me add this, however, feelings of unresolved anger can be like storm clouds that darken and otherwise beautful clear sky. Seen at a distance, they can offer a majestic contrast to the crystilline clarity of our blue skies (they even make such things as rainbow possible!). But when they come in too close we can find ourselves at risk for bring washed away on the strom surge of emotions that can wash over us.
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence