hi guys,

having a slower than usual day -

i'm writing individual emails and stuff -

and i find i keep on second guessing myself about relationships - past - and present -

and the big question mark - ? - future - is it possible?

down in florida - people who knew me at Georgi's Alibi - an

older gentlemen - who was very sweet - very conservative - but too old for me to
date - kind of saw the pain in my face at tmes - and also
loved laughing other times too - a golden heart - as he would help charitably to folks around town - and was quite well off now - and retired -

but - he'd say "Mark give up on love - it never happens" - it seemed cynical -

and I saw his pain and loneliness as well -

I had dinner with him and a friend of his - who actually was a priest - emissary to the Vatican and gay as well (we all drank at a gay bar together! LOL)

and he kind of got smart with me one night - and I said "BACK OFF PRIEST-O!"

they loved that - but whatever the priest was icky -

---

but will love ever happen -

do I need too much -

? - but it's weird

I think once the career kicks in again - if I can just meet with someone on the relationship level and not the professional since - that world is each individually -

I had a date last night - and though I don't match with the guy -

I know that - I can see - that - if I have a career -the just

person to be with vibe - will be much better -

oh who knows -

it's never good to be bored and put all that on someone

lighten -up and let life happen mark

-forcing life - messes it up

m