I've had sex with a girl once. Just once. It was for the both of us, to prove to her that love like that didn't hurt and to prove to me that I wasn't weird.
It was nice...good.....whatever it was suppose to be that's what it was. After ward I just laid there with her next to me and I didn't know what to do. I felt dirty, I felt like I took advantage of her. She woke up and asked me what as wrong. I coudln't answer, a few tears answered for me. Right then I felt like a fool for crying infront of her. I tried to hide it but it was too late.
She asked me what was wrong again and I told her, I asked her if she really wanted to do all of that. She said she did and she didn't want to do it with anyone except me.
I'm so confused, I hate being touched and when I was with her it was different. We had both been through SA. But I don't think this is good for the long run, but I don't want to hurt her. I get called gay everyday at school because I don't have a GF or anything like that.