im 20yo, straight guy but i have a huge self conciousness about my sexuality. I really want to act/look/ and feel like a man. I cant grow any substantial amount of facial hair. After about 1 week of not shaving there are these little blonde hairs that sprout in small areas around my chin and stuff. I dont think i will ever be able to grow a goatee or anyhting. But i think that there is something physically wrong with me...because i dont think it is possible for this to be a mental problem coming from my past sexual abuse.. so im wondering if anyone knows about young males and low testoterone levels? thats what i have myself conviced it is...but wont go tell my docter because he may think im nuts and wont even take me seiously. I mean i do have quite a bit of leg and pubic hair, also i do have arpit hair..it just nothing on the face and chest. One more reason for me to believe there is something wrong is because i always think to myself i dont "have the balls" literally. Maybe that is from the abuse and my homophobia...when i was young i remember my babysitter, who molested me, well i remember his pen%s size and his tesT&s and still to this day have a visual of it when i was 9yo.and back when it happened my babysitters seems far larger than mine at the time.. and i still compare his to mine to this day and i begin to believe that mine b^lls arent the normal size. that im not as much of a man as every other guy out there. the last reason is when i look at my father i really notice that he has "man boobs" lol, im seious and i read thaat that was a syptom of low testoterone. And from my eyes he doesnt seem to act like how alot of other men act. He doesnt have the muscle mass, the mon boob thing, small amounts of facial hair, ive never seen a pic in my life when he had any kind of facial hair...i would taalk to him about it but he wouldnt believe me about it..
anyways sorry about the length needed to get some shit off my chest...its always hard for me to talk about this kinda topic.