First of all great discussion. I think this topic and discussion is one of those things that is helpful for everyone here no matter where they are or where they have been.
With that said, I wanted to say how much I agree with Ken's comment about sexual activity feeling good before, during and after, (my interpratation, not his actual quote)
I could not agree more, particularly as so many survivors face and struggle with sexual identity.
While we all learn to mistrust our feelings, way too much in my opinion, examining our feelings and trusting them can go along way in helping to determine what is good and healthy vs. what is unhealthy. Learning what guilt is correct and appropriate, vs, what is incorrectly assumed and accepted is and has been quite valuable over these past years to me.
I know I spent most of my life feeling guilty because I thought I was gay, and then feeling guilty because I was acting straight and should be gay, and then vica versa and well, even I get confused thinking about it.
And I also like Brian's "one upmanship" comments. I think we all learn over time that each of us are unique and individual, and while one person that had a single experience with an older man as a teenager, may seem minor to some of us that were abused repeatedly as small children, the truth is, so much depends on each individual, and that single episode of abuse may have caused more harm, misery, and pain than the other.
I think that the best thing those that have been around here and have learned such things as this it to practice patience and be supportive. And to help everyone realize there really is no such thing as one upmanship. We are all pretty much plowing along in the same water.
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama