Well, I've been reading a lot and throwing in my two cents occasionally (which, adjusted for inflation is really worth about one tenth of a cent). I just realized, I'm still feeling like I'm on the outside looking in, like I don't BELONG. I realize this is a problem I have fought for years. I've always been a leader, always been heading up some project, class, group, or whatever. I've served as president of a 300-member organization. NEVER did I feel like one of the guys. I guess leading stuff has kept me from having to feel like I really am part of the group. I've always felt that when I walked into a room full of men, that everyone could somehow look at me and see that I was flawed, that I wasn't a REAL man. I suppose leading things gave me a feeling that maybe I was worth something. I don't know. I just realized as I was posting some replies, that I WAS DOING IT AGAIN!!!! I was playing Mr. Therapist so I wouldn't have to be "one of the guys". Mainly because I CAN'T EVER be "one of the guys". I want to feel that so badly. I want to walk into a room and NOT avoid the men. WOMEN adore me, but I avoid groups of men because I feel so frightened that they can sense that I am somehow "flawed" or "different". Incidentally, this has nothing to do with gay or straight. I feel the same way whether the group is gay guys or straight guys, or a combination of both. Any feedback on this would be appreciated. I know I'm not alone in this, but I want desperately to get better with it. Thanks guys.
Starman