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#469271 - 08/22/14 04:39 PM He told his father
expectinfeb14 Offline


Registered: 12/27/13
Posts: 15
My husband confronted his father about the abuse finally over the phone. His father denied it, told my husband he was lying and making it up or that he doesnt remember correctly and that maybe his mom was responsible. Even worse neither of his brothers defended him as a matter of fact they both attacked him, asking him whats wrong with him, even blaming his "behavior" on me. I have had a few word exchanges with them telling them my number one priority is my husband and son but after his fathers reaction and his brothers i am furious beyond belief and i want to put up for my husband and give them a piece of my mind before we cut them out forever. Does anyone have any links or articles in regards to people who defend abusers? I know these things happen a lot but are no less shocking or enfuriating

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#469273 - 08/22/14 04:50 PM Re: He told his father [Re: expectinfeb14]
Judith Offline


Registered: 05/08/14
Posts: 28
Loc: USA
Hi

The only books I can suggest which are excellent -they can be applied to both male and female but they are written from the context I think of inform female what to do but
I know they can help you with what has just has happened

Refuge
and Why Does He Do That?

That is natural for abusers to respond that way and it is out of fear of rejection etc. And if the parents are over 50 more than likely they are not going to be truthful. Counselors encourage victims to do that to help in the healing process regardless of response and it is up to the person to understand that they may not get the response they want but that if they need to say it to the abuser that they have-if it will help in the healing
I would ask your husband about if you need to say anything. IT is recommended that family members of the victim who are on the side of the victim to not say anything unless asking permission of the victim.

Because they encourage victims to really decide if the really want to talk to the abuser about things or not.
Internet has alot of info-just put in something like overcoming abuse.

Judith

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#469374 - 08/26/14 01:01 PM Re: He told his father [Re: expectinfeb14]
sugarbaby Offline


Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 377
Denial is a powerful thing.

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