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#473245 - 12/04/14 11:50 PM Re: The startle response [Re: focusedbody]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 428
Loc: NY
Repressed Mem:

Definitely with you there. In fact, I'm also with you on when the crap comes down with Mom and spouse, who have both spoken of mental illness in reference to me.

Thankfully I'm beyond that now and see myself being more of one who they trust. Overall, the problem with the concept of mental illness seems to be that it describes no real part of the problem. What is left out is that mental difficulties pretty frequently stem from emotional ones.

When the memories emerge, the emotions can only go at a pace that is manageable. Sometimes the overwhelming strength of them is destabilizing and causes the mind to dissociate. That may look like mental illness, but it is also an understandable reaction to something destructive and harmful.

So I think when people throw around the term mental illness, it's important to look at the context. As you may have seen in earlier posts, the term can sometimes be used when an interaction is too much to bear or is confounding. A lot of repressed material built up over time can get to this level. Undoing it piece by piece takes time and patience. Each layer has its own vulnerability.

So yes, watch out for taking on too much of what other people might define as sick or ill. Better to take as close a look at it as you can with courage and support.

As you say, it's just not that odd...

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#473254 - 12/05/14 02:09 PM Re: The startle response [Re: focusedbody]
RepressedMem Offline


Registered: 11/27/14
Posts: 14
Yes, you sound amazingly well adjusted to what is going on.
How long have you been dealing with this?
I need to fully write my story and this may give more full disclosure on where I am at, have been, and that maybe can give you veterans more insight to hopefully give me some sage advise on what is coming.

Much respect,
RepressedMem

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#473381 - 12/10/14 10:51 PM Re: The startle response [Re: RepressedMem]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 428
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: RepressedMem
Yes, you sound amazingly well adjusted to what is going on.


RepressedMem:

That's probably only because I take the time to write here. I would also say that I'm constantly and continuously adjusting, rather than in any lasting state of adjustment. But I should probably stop there and take the compliment!

Originally Posted By: RepressedMem
How long have you been dealing with this?


That depends on how you mean "dealing with". As you can probably see from my earlier posts, I started to take a look at all this a few years ago.

My thoughts are with you as you do the same. I would like to recommend that you go as slow as you possibly can and gather as much support as you can as well. Given how much of an experience was pocketed away, it seems extremely important to give oneself the necessary space to explore it, while also shoring up resources necessary for the journey.

Hope you will continue to share from the perspective of the support you are getting and also continue to ask for whatever it is you need to hear as you move into the difficult pain that can hold a person back.

Peace

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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#473441 - 12/12/14 05:05 PM Re: The startle response [Re: focusedbody]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 645
Loc: VA
fb:

The startles are like an electric shock or a punch in the gut (complete with a grunt!), so it's hard to work through them. After the shock, I just describe to myself what happened (bumped my foot, heard a loud noise, etc.) and then tell myself that the startle will fade away. All this won't prevent the next one, but it reduces the immediate shock.

John

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#473559 - 12/14/14 10:45 PM Re: The startle response [Re: unhappycamper]
focusedbody Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 428
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: unhappycamper
The startles are like an electric shock or a punch in the gut (complete with a grunt!), so it's hard to work through them.


Unhappycamper:

Your description sounds pretty accurate. Sometimes I have been surprised by its presence.

The fact that it is a "response" might be telling. Trying to immediately locate the trigger and what you might be responding to can be a little challenging, however.

Originally Posted By: unhappycamper
After the shock, I just describe to myself what happened (bumped my foot, heard a loud noise, etc.) and then tell myself that the startle will fade away.


Reassuring yourself at that point seems like a good idea.

Although in some way this might seem like a "body memory", the body can't really remember without the help of the brain. Allowing the experience to come through the body safely is a lot of what traumatic reprocessing is about.

Although it seems like it would be good if this lessened the shock a little too, I'm actually not sure that's such a good thing. The shock after all is a honest and natural registering of something that happened in our environment.

Of course directly taking away the hypervigilance is not really possible. The work can seem and endless and it can feel hopeless when the shocks keep reappearing. But as awareness slowly increases, so does emotional intelligence because the body and mind allow for a little more information each time you take in a slightly bigger picture.

Hope that you can not only find some peace as well, but appreciate it each time you have it.

FB
_________________________
Lose the drama; life is a poem.

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