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#467305 - 07/06/14 07:33 AM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: CloudyFalls]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 270
I can totally understand those feelings of just wanting to die and be free of the pain and loneliness and everything. I'm 18.
But you are not terminal.. Neither am I.. So many of us have gone trough this and came out the other end. And maybe life still isn't always perfect for them, or as easy as it seems for 'non survivors' but they think life is worth living.. So why can't it get this way for us as well. Right?
Atleast that's what I'm holding onto when I'm at my lowest.
Perhaps you can try coming to chat now and then? Keep a telephone number or website adress for a suiicide hotline ready when you feel you need it? Take care..
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#467326 - 07/07/14 12:18 AM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: CloudyFalls]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 187
Loc: Southeast US
Hi Cloudy Falls,

Your post is just heart breaking and frustrating, knowing that the only thing I (and probably anyone on the MS board) can offer is words. But hearing the wrong words and believing some of the wrong words has brought you to this lowest of low places. So I hope the words of encouragement and perhaps advice from so many of the MS members will show you that thoughts of hopelessness, helplessness and even suicide are just plain wrong. There's a better way as long as there's a breath in your body. Almost everyone here at one time or another has been pretty much where you are emotionally, and they've shown that it does get better. It may not seem like it, but it does. There is hope, even in the darkest of dark places.

You may say, "what the hell do you know, you haven't been through what i have and you don't know what this crap is like." And you're right, I don't. But I do know it gets better, even when it seems like it will always be like this. It won't. But you have to resist the temptation to take the easy way out which is to just quit, and instead face it head on.

I'm more than three times your age and I've had some pretty rough days and nights, and felt pretty much like you're feeling now, but if I'd given up all the times I wanted to I could never have experienced so many of the things I have through these years. Some of them haven't been so great, but so many have been well worth the struggle. And you've got some great experiences in your future, too, but you've got to hang in there to see them.

All this is just words, but if I could face you in person I would put my hand on your shoulder, maybe a hug or two, and say as sincerely as possible - you can do it, you can beat this thing, you have a reason to live, you deserve the good things in life that are waiting in the wings. Never, never, never, never give up.
Peace and blessings.

CJ
_________________________
Never, never, never, never give up....Winston Churchill

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#467359 - 07/07/14 07:11 PM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: Bluedogone]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6845
Loc: USA
Possibly we need a special forum for those who have experienced torture. They often must maintain extreme secrecy because of what they've gone through. They must talk about it because it gets it out of their heart. Yet a lot of people won't understand what they're trying to say. But those of us who've experienced it won't be shocked.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (07/07/14 07:20 PM)

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#467385 - 07/08/14 11:58 AM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: CloudyFalls]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 270
I think that dividing different kinds of abuse will just lead to less responses; the mainforum is Male Survivors, after all.
Kinda like how the other subforums get less traffic also. But maybe I'm wrong..

Also I didn't think this thread was about physical torture, but rather about how he feels, but I might be wrong there too
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

Top
#467493 - 07/11/14 06:11 PM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: CloudyFalls]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1309
Loc: kansas
Cf,

I've been worried about you since you have made your original post to this thread.

says the last time you were here was July 5th.

please let us know how you are.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#467496 - 07/11/14 07:52 PM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: Obi]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6845
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Obi
Cf,

I've been worried about you since you have made your original post to this thread.

says the last time you were here was July 5th.

please let us know how you are.


Yes. Please do.

Puffer

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#467535 - 07/12/14 06:31 PM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: CloudyFalls]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1309
Loc: kansas
Has anyone heard from cf?
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

Top
#467538 - 07/12/14 08:39 PM Re: Grueling tourture. (Trigger Warning) [Re: CloudyFalls]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 187
Loc: Southeast US
Obi, I think you're right to be concerned. His last post was not too upbeat, to say the least, and the one before that concerned a friend of his who had committed suicide.
I hope a mod, or whoever has access to his email, will try to contact him for an update.
_________________________
Never, never, never, never give up....Winston Churchill

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