Just a thought from a different direction. Maybe it can help with a different perspective. The 7 Rules, similar to mine when I was young, definitely worked against me. My greatest regret is that I suffered in silence for so long. I wish I would have disclosed to everyone what was happening within the sham of a family I was raised in. I wish I would have been strong enough to bypass the threats that forced me to keep the secrets of a predator-father, a physically abusive mother, and a bullying elder brother. I wish I would have acted out in some way until someone listened to my cry for help.
Instead, I kept it all to myself. I was a well-mannered boy, bashful and invisible. Silence turned my anger inward until it became self-hatred.
It took me near half a century to find the soul they killed, and even now I must work daily to keep it from slipping back into the clutches of their aftermath of symptoms.
The scariest and most rewarding thing I've ever done was to let people really see "me." Sometimes I was judged, or mocked and laughed at, or insulted, or discarded. There are therapists who may say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Those were lessons in learning about THEM, not me. Lots of people in this world are incapable of compassion or learning from others. They are the type who lack the maturity to discuss any topic of real substance.
I still have a lot to learn in this area. I still struggle between my inclination to be guarded and hidden, and my desire to live life fully by experiencing the richness of human interaction.
I've tasted the berries, and I have found them worth suffering the painful cuts and scratches of their thistles.
And ya know somethin'? It's okay if anyone disagrees with me here, because in order to do that, he must break a rule and share his thoughts.
That's how we get to know each other. That's how we learn and grow. And come to think of it, I've learned something from the thoughts shared in this thread, and I learned a few things about myself too.