Sorry it took me until now to report. I did go through with the test though I have not felt so terrified in a long time. I was zoning a bit, my blood pressure was at a place that almost caused them to abort. it all got very awkward and I came to tears but I told them. I told about the abuse and the flash backs that this test was causing. The Dr. was alerted(I was not planning to tell him) and he spoke to me in a very unexpected way. He acknowledged the flashbacks and his understanding of it, and that was it! no poor baby, no it will all be OK, no condescending talk, like we do this all the time. just a simple I know what to do. they had no instruments out at all nothing to trigger me more they simply sedated me which is freaky enough and then it was over. they did some biopsies,I should hear in a week or so but he said things looked good thanks so much for the help and support guys
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"