Do you know what foiled your plans last time, and what you can do differently this time? I'm not asking for an answer, and not trying to invade whatever anonymity is important to you, but breaking a lifetime of dependency issues can be challenging. And from your posts it sounds as if you have been groomed for some time to be financially dependent on your family. Combine that with you having mentioned having a gambling addiction and I have concerns for you knowing how, on your own, to pull this off. Again, my purpose in this post is simply to be a pain in the ass voice of reality about such issues as: have you ever worked before, what will be your financial base, how will your finances be renewed, what kinds of support are available to you when you leave regarding access to therapy, gambler's anonymous, supportive friends (I'm not talking about partying friends) who know your situation and are mature enough to help you in making a bid for freedom. I want you to succeed. If that is to happen it seems to me your plan has to be carefully fleshed out.
Financial dependence can be very difficult to break, and you may have massive personal time bombs which will go off the second you leave, whose purpose is to undermine all efforts at independence. Of course, all of my questions come from my own frame of reference, and may not be particularly relevant to you. Again, I'm not asking for any answers.
Sending you love and support.
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards