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#477073 - 02/12/15 02:32 PM Re: Coming off klonopin [Re: SoccerStar]
concerned_husky Offline

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 760
Thanks for sharing this with us, Matt.

I have a few friends who still have problems coming off the meds, especially with the withdrawal aspect of it. There is a lot of insight and hope here.

Congrats on the milestone.

Way to go, Matt!

"You can lead a horse to water, but it might push you in." - Husky

#483893 - 06/14/15 01:41 PM Re: Coming off klonopin [Re: SoccerStar]
SoccerStar Offline

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 926
Loc: New York
Well. At least I knew I COULD do it.

I'm back on the klonopin now :p It's a bit disappointing, yes, but it was better than the alternative.

Have been back on since about the first week of May. The pressure at work was just too great. 4th quarter 2014 I had my biggest successes of my entire career and it made a difference on a company-wide scale. So basically all of April/May 2015 was every level of management making clear to me just how I was expected to make the "sequel" at the end of this year even better. The goals and pressures were unbelievable - if I went a day where I was ONLY having what would be a goodly-productive day under normal circumstances, I'd start to have panic attacks again.... the kind from the bad old days, where I'd be basically immobilized with fear until 2-3pm and get NOTHING done. Started to see my end-2015 "sequel" as the ideal excuse to fire me.

And then I started having sleep paralysis / night terrors again. It's been a long, long time. My wife is used to me having wake-up-screaming nightmares but this was different. I had so hoped that phase of my life was over forever but it's not.

So I went back on the klonopin. I knew it would work for me, it did before. It's a low dose, just a half-pill a day first thing in the morning, to keep me from freaking out at work and to keep my sleep normalized. I know I was worried (still am worried) about Alzheimer's, but if I can't function well enough to make it much older then what kind of victory is that?

Am honestly not sure if or when I'll try weaning off again. I consider myself lucky that I had this option available.

Oh and my psychiatrist can go fuck himself. I called him to ask about dosage levels and he refused to discuss it unless I came to his office. He has moved offices so it would severely cut into my workday. He treated me for OVER TWO YEARS, he knows who I am, and when I asked him "How long can I really be on this, at any dose?" he still insisted that I go to him... like he needs my extra co-pay to just answer a question. I have enough pills to last me probably a year - and if I do need a consult I'll be getting a different psychiatrist!


Edited by SoccerStar (06/14/15 01:41 PM)
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

#484144 - 06/18/15 11:39 AM Re: Coming off klonopin [Re: SoccerStar]
don64 Offline

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1104
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Matt,

Having been through my high income years, and steeply crashing from my high income years, there are very familiar warning signals going off for me as I read your post. For me, the kind of signals your body and emotions are giving you are serious warning signals about the sustainability of your work and life choices at this time.

I hope you are able to clearly assess the wisdom of continuing a life/life-style/working situation that requires such toxic efforts from you. I wasn't able to stop until I seriously crashed, and became unable to work any more. My ability to work went straight downhill from 45 until age 53 when I was unable to work anymore at all. My nervous system was shot at that time, along with the last of my assets.

I'm not saying anything like what happened to me will happen with you, but all my alarm bells are going off as I read your post.

Sending you love and good will,

Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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