why is way too hard a question my friend. I just hope you can know that it was NOT your fault.((( sharky))) why seems unknowable I have asked it all my life. just know for sure you have a friend here.
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"