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#455669 - 11/30/13 11:56 PM Insomnia
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Rears it's ugly head. Damn nightmares are a pain in the ass

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#455674 - 12/01/13 12:27 AM Re: Insomnia [Re: Frustrated]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
The monsters come out at night the demons follow close behind the dark shadows that stalk me come to life sleep is not an option. My csa is magnified at night. Darkness is the fuel that feeds my mind and keeps me frozen in time of a little boy being violated. Soon I will surrender to sleep and be haunted by the memories that my mind can not handle while awake. Peace is all I need that's all peace

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#455675 - 12/01/13 12:39 AM Re: Insomnia [Re: Frustrated]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I think I've long been troubled by bad dreams. They were always kept hidden from my conscious mind. My mind would not allow itself to view what was going on in the dreams (in the dungeons of my mind). Is this hard to believe?

I think the curtain is being lowered. I'm awakening now with some recollection of the dream - events. These events are probably relating to abuse I experienced as a child. When that curtain finally lowers it will be painful but healing as I no longer have to hide that stuff.

Puffer

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#455681 - 12/01/13 01:15 AM Re: Insomnia [Re: Frustrated]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
I agree Puffer

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#455685 - 12/01/13 02:49 AM Re: Insomnia [Re: Frustrated]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 738
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
My dreams usually seem just crazy, and some are nightmares. I have learned that my dreams are my subconscious processing out painful and poisonous life events as efficiently as I am able to handle it. So, actually, my dreams are an enormous friend to me, even when they don't feel very friendly. It can take some time for me to figure them out sometimes. But, when I get stuck and I ask myself "How does this dream make me feel?", the answer to that generally gives me some information so I can go back into the dream and retrieve some nougats.

I'm sorry the dreams and memories are so challenging to deal with.

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#455815 - 12/03/13 07:33 AM Re: Insomnia [Re: Frustrated]
Survivinguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 310
Loc: Colorado
Originally Posted By: Frustrated
The monsters come out at night the demons follow close behind the dark shadows that stalk me come to life sleep is not an option. My csa is magnified at night. Darkness is the fuel that feeds my mind and keeps me frozen in time of a little boy being violated. Soon I will surrender to sleep and be haunted by the memories that my mind can not handle while awake. Peace is all I need that's all peace


Perfect. Sorry it is you and sorry it is happening but perfect way to capture and express the nightly torment. I understand and relate to your post very well. I wake nearly every night between 3am and 5am - the hours between which he would take me from my bed, lead me to another room, violate me and return me - shaking quivering dying - back to my bed. And today decades later sleep is not rest, it is not peace.

Damned if you sleep. Damned if you don't - no amount of coffee is going to hide your sleep deficit. The night terrors are waiting for us again. Aside from a prescription for trazadone, my T suggests when I wake, breathe, remind myself 'now not then' and do not look at the clock.

Sorry you are awake but you are not alone.
_________________________
Survivinguy

============================================
I have to survive and I hope to thrive.

Alumni Dahlonega WoR May 2010
Alumni Sequoia WoR March 2012

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