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#453385 - 11/12/13 03:55 PM ?? For those of us who have gone thru recovery?
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
What is life like for you after you have made it thru recovery? In my case. It has been a little bit of a doubled edge sword. On the one hand I was free of the abuse and all the stuff that went with it. I feel whole and complete, I feel pretty dam good about myself and my life, as it is now. However, on the other hand I find myself troubled at how far i am behind in life. Not owning a house, not well set up for retirement and that is coming in 10 years. I see others much younger and they did it all the right way and have the things that most have. While i am free of the abuse and i am happy. I feel a bit left behind and I don't know if i have what it takes to achieve some of the things i desire. My whole life i
droven myslef hard and was full of ambition and enery. The desire is still there but my drive has reallly decreased/.

How has life been for you after you feel you recovered?

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com


Edited by jas4159 (11/12/13 03:56 PM)
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#453387 - 11/12/13 04:11 PM Re: ?? For those of us who have gone thru recovery? [Re: jas4159]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 150
Loc: Chicago
Interesting post. I agree with you on certain points and can relate. I am free and very stable within my body and mind. I have not accomplished certain things that I thought I would do like get married and raise a family. However, I excelled at other things and accomplished so much that I never thought possible.

Bottom line - with or without CSA in our background, life isn't perfect. So we make the best of each period in our lives and try to move and learn from each episode.

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#453390 - 11/12/13 04:21 PM Re: ?? For those of us who have gone thru recovery? [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
very good point and i also have accomplished more than i thought i would. thank you for reminding me.

rich
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#453416 - 11/12/13 06:22 PM Re: ?? For those of us who have gone thru recovery? [Re: jas4159]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 677
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi jas4159,

I'm 64, no assets, no savings, no ira, haven't been able to work in 9 years, lived a difficult existence for 7 years prior to social security starting 2+ years ago, live in 380 sq. ft. apt. on small island in carribbean, was forced to detox from western civilization beliefs about what I needed to have in order to be happy, had years of making pretty good money up to age 45. I do know what I am missing, and I do not miss any of it. If you told me in my forties that I did not need money, possessions, things, assets, the ability to fit in with some external definition of what is "normal," I would have thought you were crazy.

I am so free, carefree, no responsibilities. I have all my time to spend on myself. And, that is exactly what I need. I have serious abuse issues. And I have the time and space to deal with them. If I was burdened with a load of beliefs that preoccupied me I would not have made it.

I have read that just because millions of people believe something does not make them sane. I suspect you are a great deal more flexible than you imagine.

Wishing you well,

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#453909 - 11/15/13 11:11 PM Re: ?? For those of us who have gone thru recovery? [Re: jas4159]
George Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/01
Posts: 120
Loc: NY metro
Started dealing with the sa just about 15 years ago, I pop in every few months to stay grounded. Things are pretty good, I have the wife I shouldn't have, the kids I shouldn't have, the home I shouldn't have, etc.. Before recovery none of it would've been possible. I was 31 when I started dealing with the sa, old enough for it to have gone on way to long, young enough to be able to salvage our marriage, keep my wife, then later have kids.

On the outside most would say I'm successful, some relatives I know are even envious of our assets, thinking we have it all. They don't know the hell we've both been through, they may think they know, but they don't have a clue. In spite of all we do have, I too wonder were I'd be if I didn't have the anchor of s/a weighing me down, if I gave a shit in school & if college had been a possibility, etc...how much more could I have accomplished? Nothing has come easy for us, we've done without, gambled (investments, not betting) with our nest egg, put our asses on the line with money and things worked out ok, because we worked at it. I'm a high school dropout, too...not a genius by any stretch...

Don64, I can easily see how you feel happy out on your rock, sometimes less *is* more. I wouldn't mind paring down making things simpler, there is peace in that. My wife hasn't come to that conclusion yet, I've mentioned it, so it is out there.

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