I wrote this to share with my wife to help explain the feelings. it helped her. I dont know if it will be of any use to you but I hope you know you are not alone man. I LOVE being sexual with her but at the same time it can remind me of loads of other feelings I hope it clears quickly for ya dude
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"