Newest Members
Serenity40, markm, hans32, SilentNoLonger, masryt
12132 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
casey (45), flaredsoul (31), Madcap (29), susie24 (59)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 58 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12132 Members
73 Forums
62561 Topics
438342 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#453317 - 11/12/13 05:08 AM Re: The Trauma Myth -- trash or insightful? [Re: risingagain]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 550
Originally Posted By: risingagain
[quote]

Someone can call trauma a myth, but that does not make it so.



That's not what her book argues. The trauma myth is not that trauma is myth, but that it is a myth that all abuse is intensely traumatic. And she makes a distinction between traumatic and damaging. Right or wrong, I'm just pointing this out so we aren't accusing her of saying things she isn't saying. I agree that its probably not the best name for what she is actually trying to say.


Edited by Jacob S (11/12/13 05:24 AM)
_________________________
"As long as the child within is not allowed to become aware of what happened to him or her, a part of his or her emotional life will remain frozen . . . all appeals to love, solidarity, and compassion will be useless."
-- Alice Miller

Top
#453318 - 11/12/13 05:15 AM Re: The Trauma Myth -- trash or insightful? [Re: unhappycamper]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 550
Originally Posted By: unhappycamper

Obviously different children, and children of different ages, will react differently--and at different times--to different kinds of sexual encounters with adults. If that's all this book is trying to say, I think it's hard to argue with it. I don't think it helps every CSA victim or survivor to instantly file them under "Life--Ruined."


I think that may be her main point and I can see how there is some undeniable truth in that. Telling someone "because you were raped, you'll never amount to anything" isn't always a helpful tactic. I think her main intent might be to bring that distinction to light. Its really a hard balance and one I've faced in my own thoughts. If someone says "you can get over it," that makes me feel mad and invalidated. But if someone says "you can't get over it," that also makes me mad.
_________________________
"As long as the child within is not allowed to become aware of what happened to him or her, a part of his or her emotional life will remain frozen . . . all appeals to love, solidarity, and compassion will be useless."
-- Alice Miller

Top
#453323 - 11/12/13 07:53 AM Re: The Trauma Myth -- trash or insightful? [Re: Jacob S]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
It is entirely likely that certain people are less traumatized by certain types of inappropriate sexual encounters. But you won't know if you fit into that category until you actually do - and it will be because of something inside / how others treat you, not because of reading any study. Once a trauma response HAS set in, you can't just read other case studies that had better outcomes and then will yourself into joining that team instead. So the study is an accurate description, but questionable prescription, if that makes any sense.

Definitely a pathological focus on damage is not helpful. For all the attention Oprah gave to male survivors, her extended web series on the subject is titled "Life in the Ruins." That's DISGUSTING. One of the very first things I read about all this shit is that the general public can unwittingly hurt survivors through solely defining themselves as such, whereas survivors themselves are more likely to have good outcomes if they see their abuse as an ugly part of their lives that CAN be emotionally superceded by good things. Like - if you see a guy in a wheelchair playing "Murderball," it's dense and counterproductive to focus just on his past / what he can't do as opposed to his future / what he can.


Matt
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.