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#464800 - 04/30/14 07:24 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Age 9, a then 18 year old cousin coerced me into fondling his penis on two ocasions.

age 11-15, at school, started with general bullying, verbal insults, occasional physical violence, got gradually worse over the next few years until it was regular full scale public gang rape and s/xual humiliation by several girls, plus continuing physical violence by boys.

I am still genophobic and hate anything to do with s/x, nor can I bee seen in any state of undress by another person. I've been doing recovery now for about 7 years, or at least trying to, I'm now 31 but I'm not sure any of it has really done any good.

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#464810 - 04/30/14 10:24 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 287
Loc: MO
It seems to go on forever. Just reading these posts. Don't know
why this may be helpful, but I am willing to disclose.

My brother 2 years older at 10 and 12. Rubbing his penis on me
and getting me to suck his dick and then berating me for being homosexual

My mother had me undress so her photographer friend could take pictures 12

Friend of my mother's 26 years old who was supposed to take care of me when I was sick. From 13 - 14 Kissed my body, sucked me off, raped orally, raped me anally.

My mother's business partner in my late teens, I was probably age
of consent. Oral sex. (Mother told me he was trying to resolve his sexual identity.)

Physical abuse by Father and Brother from 4 to 16.

My mother manipulated me into doing things that we strange,like holding me responsible for staying in her abusive marraige (from 1958 to 1999), like making my father tell her he loved her. Making decisions about the use of college funds when my father was out of work, proving her success as a mother by my accomplishments (probably narsistic supply to her narcisism)


I have no idea why this would help but I thought I would offer it up for the request.


Edited by genedebs (04/30/14 10:28 AM)
Edit Reason: adding her shift of responsibility

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#464823 - 04/30/14 05:12 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
My uncle from four to five my father five to 13

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#464825 - 04/30/14 05:30 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Oh ya when I was 13 a 17 year old girl got me drink and had sex with me if that counts as abuse

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#464826 - 04/30/14 07:55 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
And why wouldn't it? count as abuse, reverse the genders and ask if it would be okay for a 17 year old boy to get a 13 year old girl drunk.

God I hate gender sterreotypes!

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#465535 - 05/20/14 12:38 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
zip14 Offline


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 25
Loc: Ontario, Canada
A teacher. And he is going to be arrested this week. 42 years and 2 months after the fact. Hard to breathe right now.

I am both empowered and overpowered by it at the same time. So very much off balance. Just stress I expect.

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#465539 - 05/20/14 02:33 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
recordplayer69 Offline


Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 9
Loc: Texas
I was passed around between my father and his 2 brothers from 8 to 12. Was considered 'too old' after that.....

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#465550 - 05/20/14 08:01 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York
Hey Zip

How do you feel now? a little less stressed out?

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#465551 - 05/20/14 08:04 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York
Hey Recordplayer

Sorry you had to come here but you're now a part of a brotherhood. Join in on the boards, not only can it help you but you can help someone else with your story and how you're trying to heal.

That first post is always the hardest but you'll look back at it as a turning point in your life

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#465560 - 05/20/14 10:32 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
learning2luvme Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 49
Ugh....three years later in the recovery process unfortunately I continue to identify individuals as my brain decides to let me remember.

1. Pedophile old man that lived across the street. Raped me on July 4, 1976 when I went to his home to deliver a bottle of honey I had sold his wife for a school fundraiser. He continued to abuse me from age 8 till about 13 or 14.

2. Teenage boy that lived on the block.

3. Another boy in the neighborhood who was around my age, but he was bigger than me.

4. Multiple perpatrators that were somehow connected to Man #1...mostly shadow figures in my brain but some I recall nicknames such as "Fat Man", "Green Jeans" involved in an early child porn/sex ring and gang rape of young boys. Fortunately, I don't have much recollection of these men as I was mostly drugged and kept in dark rooms so I couldn't identify the abuser.

It's a sick fucking world isn't it....even back then.

Next...

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