Sorry for getting back to your thread a bit late. I'm not sure I can be of much help as I don't know the details of your family dynamics yet, but I just wanted to mention that sometimes, abusers hold very idealized images of their own abusers/abuse, and will go great lengths to maintain them. I would take what's been said about your mother's relationship with her father with a pinch of salt. I wish you luck in finding more information.
Growing up isn't about losing innocence - it's about learning how to keep it in a cold and unforgiving world.