Newest Members
andrewmartin, Aurigny, Luther, LuckyCharm, Jennifer Lyons
12251 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
AdawgJR (28), Brian (50), hikerpark (52), Jeremy Welch (47), Logan81 (2014), Olson30 (60), Patrick7958 (56)
Who's Online
2 registered (pete1973, 1 invisible), 49 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12251 Members
73 Forums
63104 Topics
441295 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#449456 - 10/07/13 08:11 PM Re: A Do Over [Re: On The Fringe]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1087
Loc: The ATL

Hi Buledogone. We'd all love to have a few do-overs in life. God knows I'd give anything to have quite a few. I try not to think that way to much though because it will only drive me crazy. Coulda, woulda, shoulda, all day long. Like others have said, you can only go forward with the lessons you've learned in tow and try to put them to use as best as possible. Also, let's try to separate the do overs you would like to have from your childhood from the mistakes you've made as an adult. Nothing that happened to you when you were a kid was your fault. None of the abuse was your fault. Don't tell yourself you should have known better because you couldn't have known better. You were just a kid. When it comes to mistakes we've made as adults, the only thing we can do is learn the hard lessons we've learned, try to forgive ourselves and move forward a wiser man. At the end of the day, that's all you can really do. Take care. Peace,

Ken

Top
#449459 - 10/07/13 08:26 PM Re: A Do Over [Re: Bluedogone]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 588
Loc: VA
Woulda-coulda-shoulda is a normal reaction to regrets--everybody does it. It's our way of trying to reassert a sense of control (real or imagined) over our lives. Of course, it's futile, because we can't change things that have already happened (or that didn't happen when they should have.) My dear old auntie, aged 83, died unexpectedly this past spring. I often phoned her once a week, but I hadn't done so, the last weekend before she died. See? Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Won't change anything.

As for CSA, I still get angry thinking of the things that OTHERS--responsible adults-- "shoulda" done when I became that Unhappy Camper. But all I can now is try to be the responsible adult that they weren't.

John

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.